A Brief History

I keep telling myself that the beginning post will be the most painful. Once it's over, it will get easier from here. I picked the first of the month to start, and I'm sticking to that goal. But how do I explain myself, my situation and my plans for the future in one post when I've spent the last 26 years fucking it all up to get to this point?
Unlike Denise Richards' sorry, self-deprecating existence, this really is complicated. I blame no one but myself for this. Well, I blame younger-version Me. Stupid, stupid, 21-year-old Me. I had a great start, and I messed it all up.
When I was 18, I moved from Florida to New England to move in with a boy I met on the internet. It was 2001, and that was totally taboo. In fact, I lied to every one about how I met him. I said he was vacationing here, and I ran into this guy. Then 8 months later, I was dropping out of college to live with him and his parents. Yes, it was the first of my many bad decisions. But I did leave the relationship with one good thing... credit. I had credit cards and a car loan, which provided me with the ability to afford to get out of the relationship I shouldn't have entered into three years before.
When I should have come home, I chose to stay up there for another year. And that's when I went broke. I bought beautiful furniture, a motorcycle, all sorts of clothes, shopped at expensive grocery stores and went out every night. Managing this lifestyle wasn't hard, because I worked for a cell phone company in a region where only one cell phone company had service. Basically, I shot fish in a barrel for $1,000 a week. I was 22, with no education and way too much time on my hands.
After a toxic on-again-off-again relationship, I decided that going back to Florida was my only option. I left my job and moved home. I was about $20,000 in debt. And this is where my disaster got out of hand.
I lived with my parents and could only find a part time job paying $9.75/ hr. Finally I found a job paying the same, but full time selling shoes (mmmm... shoes....). However, it was a 30 minute drive in an AWD SUV at 14 mpg. Gas was $3 a gallon at the time too. So this job ended up costing me more than it was making me. Not to mention, selling shoes is not as nice as buying them.
And then, three years ago, my current job came to me. But by this time, I was $25,000 in debt. Just fees... And by then it was ALL delinquent.
For the past three years, I've been ignoring it and just trying to get by. But now, it's time to tackle not only my debt, but my financial life in general.
I spend to make myself happy and I spend to make others happy. I'm a giving person and I'll give my last dollar. If I don't have some one to give it to, I'll spend it on myself. I'm a disciplinary disaster when it comes to money. While I'm not racking up any further debt, I'm not getting anywhere. I'm getting closer and closer to a settling phase in my life, and you can't settle without good credit.